If I Had More Time

If I had more time I would...

** Have a real conversation with my husband instead of daily briefings
** Eat healthier. Let's face it, eating healthy takes time. Grabbing something quick is usually not as healthy (darn it!)
** Remember to take my vitamins (maybe this would not be as important if I actually had time for item above.)
** Exercise more. Hmmm, there seems to be a theme developing here.
** Just be a mom so I can enjoy my kids while they still think I'm cool. I feel like I am always so busy rushing from one activity or commitment to another being a chauffeur and activities coordinator extraordinaire. I need to just be a mom!
** Call, yes pick up the phone and call, my out-of-town friends so I can hear their voice
** Finish my novel that is 80% finished and has been for the past two (at this point, probably closer to three) years
** Write 3-4 blog postings each week...consistently!

A girl can dream, can't she?

An Inspiring Friend

Do you have a friend that inspires you? I am fortunate to have many amazing girlfriends, but one in particular is my girlfriend from college. We've known each other for 20 years and I was thrilled when she moved within driving distance a few years back. The easiest way to describe her is that there is nothing she cannot do. Seriously. New backsplash for the kitchen? She can put it in. Extra-long curtains made for your great room? She's your girl. Delicious pumpkin cookies for your Halloween party? Absolutely!

But even more inspiring is her attitude. She truly believes that there is nothing she cannot accomplish. No obstacle that is insurmountable with a determined and positive attitude. And let me say that it is precisely this upbeat and matter-of-fact attitude that has helped her through some tough personal times lately. For the casual observer looking at her, even talking to her, one would never know the stress in her life. Each time we get together, I come away vowing not to worry or obsess about things that are out of my hands (so hard for me!) To tackle what seems like the impossible, one step at a time...without complaining. And, not to dwell on what should have been or what could have been. We should all be so lucky to have someone like her in our lives.

Directionally Challenged

Finally! What I've known to be true all my life: It's not my fault that I am terrible with directions! It may be in my genes! According to this article posted on msnbc.com with the headline, "Always lost? It may be in your genes,"

"A new study suggests that skillful navigation just may be in your genes."

"We found that people who suffer from the genetic disorder Williams syndrome have trouble reorienting themselves, a basic process that is shared among human children and adults, and a variety of non-human species," Lakusta said. "Our finding that individuals with Williams syndrome show this kind of impairment suggests an important link between genes and the system that is used for reorientation."

Williams "is caused when a small amount of genetic material is missing from one human chromosome."

Yes, I admit that I am the kind of person that gives directions not by street names or by using phrases such as "the north side of the street," but by phrases such as "turn left at the gas station" or "the brown house with the basketball hoop in the driveway." I can't tell if I am heading north or south while I am driving without the use of a car compass or major (and I mean MAJOR) landmarks such as mountain ranges or the Pacific Ocean. Good thing we live in California! My husband once told me that I was the worst person with directions he has ever met. I thought he was joking, but he assured me he was not.

But now, I realize that I am one of the rare (only 1 in 7,500 people) people suffering from Williams Syndrome. Right? I mean, I must be. Besides, the article also mentions that people afflicted with Williams Syndrome have strong language skills (yes, I do like to talk) and are extremely social (again, yes with the talking!) This has to be me! Wait, does this mean that I can't ask for a GPS for my car now?

Life Skills and Sports Talk Radio

One of the most peaceful moments I have to myself each day is right after I get back into the car after dropping my kids off at school and I turn on my radio to sports talk radio. There - my secret is out! Yes, not only do I listen to sports talk radio in the morning, but I really and truly enjoy it! The personalities that are on in the morning are funny, smart, and very entertaining. This morning, I found myself particularly engrossed in one of the topics. Colin Cowherd is on ESPN radio in the morning and I always tune in when I am in the car during his show. Today, he happened to be making the case for the importance of social skills and social adaptability. He went on to give examples of people who are brilliantly book smart, geniuses even, but have tragic stories because of their inability to interact and engage with the rest of the world.

Now, while I may not agree 100% with his examples and reasoning, much of what he said rang true to me and seemed especially timely in my world. Why? Well, report cards were just sent out at our school. Now, most of you might think that a perfectionist such as myself, no matter how much she is trying to change, expects to see only the highest marks across the board. Right? Well, sort of. The two areas where I expect (and to a certain extent, demand) to see high marks are "Academic Work Habits" and "Social Development." These categories encompass the life long skills our children will need to master in order to succeed and thrive in any endeavor, across any industry: "Accepts responsibility," "Works cooperatively with others," "Respects adults and peers," and "Exhibits best effort." It's not that I don't consider reading, spelling, math, etc. to be important. Quite the opposite, but the rules of punctuation or carrying the ones in addition are much easier to work on, practice, and even memorize, whereas I want my son to have an innate drive to always do his best, take responsibility for his actions, and treat others with kindness. I know, heavy stuff for a first grader, but as I mentioned in my previous post, our young ones are capable of so much more than we give them credit for!

I guess what I am trying to say in a wordy roundabout way (sorry, but it is midnight after all), is that I agree with Colin Cowherd and the importance of social skills and other intangibles that cannot be measured by a standardized test. Book smarts are not the only kind of smart. And the A+ in me will always demand perfection in Social Development and Work Habits. See...maybe you should give sports talk radio a chance!

Mommy's Mistake and a Parade

As a mom, I am always reminding my kids that no one is perfect and that everyone makes mistakes. Well, one of mine as a mom is when I underestimate my kids and how much they are able to handle at their young age. This weekend was a perfect example. Yesterday was the Golden Dragon Parade in Chinatown to celebrate Chinese New Year. My daughter's martial arts class participates every year and it seemed like such a fabulous idea when we signed up our Little Dragons (the four and five-year-old class). Besides, who doesn't love a parade? However, I began to get a little hesitant as the details of the parade emerged. We were supposed to be there 90 minutes prior to the start of the parade to "line-up." Good luck keeping six or eight little ones in a confined space for that long, right? Then, our little ones would be "parading" (is that official parade speak?) for another hour. And to top it all off, the forecast called for chance of showers. I worried that my little one might be done for the day before the parade even started. Or, that she would be "sooooo tired" halfway through the parade.

The morning of the parade did not start off too promising when we found out that the parade actually started an hour earlier than we had been told. Luckily, we had enough time (thanks to one of our fellow moms) to scramble and catch an earlier train. And, looking back, the chaotic morning was actually a blessing in disguise because it meant less waiting and by the time we got to Chinatown, most of the parade prep was done so there was so much for the kids to see!

The dragon at the front of the parade

The Little Dragons Marching

Doing their star blocks

When all was said and done, the kids did such a fabulous job! They marched and demonstrated their star blocks like true parade professionals! Myself and the other moms that marched along side the kids were exhausted by the end so I can only imagine how tired the kids were. But there was no whining or complaining from the little dragons the entire day...despite the fact that from beginning to end, it was a five-hour endeavor. I admit that I was wrong for being anxious or nervous about my daughter. She was a real trooper and was still all smiles when we got home. This was just another example of me underestimating my kids and how much they can rise to an occasion. And, as I always tell my kids, "the important thing is to learn from our mistakes."

Finding my Zen Place

After this afternoon, I have come to the realization that I need to be able to find my zen place when rushing about in my car. First of all, can I ask a very simple question? What is the deal with Wednesdays? What makes that day so wildly attractive that every activity seemingly is scheduled for Wednesday? Anyways, I think I have mentioned previously that my son has a class on Wednesdays from 4:00 pm. - 5:15 p.m. Recently, my daughter asked if she could take the same soccer class that my son took when he was her age. My daughter, who besides her martial arts class has been lukewarm towards playing sports. If my daughter was asking to be outside exercising and learning how to be part of a team, I was definitely not going to say no. The only problem was that the class is on Wednesdays...from 3:30 p.m. - 4:30 p.m.

So...this afternoon I climbed into my car and...picked up my son from school at 3:00 p.m. Drove to the park and soccer class at 3:30 p.m. Fairly relaxed behind the wheel during the drive. 30 minutes is more than enough time to make it to the park. At 3:45...climb back into car (with my son) and drive to his class. Not sure which way is the quickest and of course, picked the slowest route. Getting slightly more tense behind the wheel. Make it to class by 4:00 p.m. Quick good-bye and then climb back into car to head back to soccer class. Try a different route back to park. Road construction all along route...grip on steering wheel definitely tightening. Finally make it back to the park and soccer class at 4:15 p.m. Luckily class is running a few minutes long so I get to watch 15 - 20 minutes of class. After class, climb back into car (with my daughter this time) and drive back to pick up my son. By the time I pull into the parking lot, I am exhausted. It is at this moment when I realize that there is a lesson to be learned from my near coronary on the roads today. Being Type-A makes me a chronic overachiever - thus the insane scheduling. That part is obvious. But what I struggle with is reminding myself that it's okay to be a chronic overachiever as long as I am aware and mindful of the things that are out of my control (that would be traffic in this case). So, rather than become agitated driving to and fro, maybe I should learn some deep-breathing relaxation techniques for next week?

Hurt Feelings

My four-year-old is out of school today and tomorrow for conferences. Not just any conference...kindergarten readiness conference. Every child who wishes to attend kindergarten at our school undergoes "kindergarten readiness" testing (even ones who are already there attending preschool). It is actually no big deal to the kids. It is not set-up as a test, but more of an unique playtime. One of the things they ask the kids about is your parents' "job."

When my son took his test and was asked what his mommy's job was, he replied, "Her job is taking care of us." Bless his heart!

When I asked my four-year-old, "What did you say mommy's job was?" she replied, "Nothing!"

"What do you mean nothing?" I asked. This was definitely not the answer I was expecting.

"You don't have a job mommy!" Needless to say, I definitely felt slighted and answered indignantly, "What do you mean? My job is taking care of you and your brother!" But, by this time, she had already moved on and was busy telling me about the rest of her day. Somebody please help me pull the knife (put there by my daughter) out of my back!

Betty Crocker I am Not

I spent the morning yesterday doing my best to channel my inner Betty Crocker. The Cub Scouts were holding their Annual Cake Bake and needless to say, the pressure was on! Now, I am sure no one is surprised to learn that I am not a cake baker...avid cake eater, but not baker. If I am baking, it's cupcakes, mainly because the one other time I attempted a cake ended up with me rushing out to the local bakery at the last minute.

Now, in case you didn't know, the Cub Scout motto is, "Do Your Best," so I thought..."Why not?" With my son doing the pouring and mixing and my daughter assisting with the frosting, we all did our best. Because it was NFL play-off day and because my son loves the Indianapolis Colts, we chose a very simple football field design. Not too bad, right?


Remember when I mentioned that the pressure was on to at least attempt something respectable? Here is why. These are just a few of the AMAZING cakes from this year's Cake Bake. Truly humbled...again!

Chess Tutor

Because of all the rain we've been having this week (not that I am complaining...we definitely need it), we've been playing a ton of checkers and chess at home. Or rather, the kids have been. I dabble in checkers but I actually don't know how to play chess. I never had the urge to learn...probably because I am too impatient to actually sit still for that long. While I was out-of-town this past weekend, my husband taught the kids how to play chess and now they are obsessed...even my four-year-old.

In fact, she asked my yesterday if I wanted to play chess. I told her I don't know how to play. She replied excitedly, "That's ok mommy. I can teach you!" Hmmm. "Okay, sure."

She proceeded to set up the board for us, made her first move and then said, "It's your turn mommy." I reached for the instructions, but she cried out, "No mommy! I can teach you. You don't need the directions." She then gave me the quick and dirty about each piece. "The king can do anything mommy, seriously, he can. The queen has to protect the king. The castle can move like this..." and so on and so on. She did her best over the next few minutes to help me through my moves when it was my turn. But, after moving some of my pawns around and then my "horse", I was stuck. And my daughter could tell.

"What's wrong mommy?"
"I'm sorry sweetie, but I don't know what to do now. I'm stuck. I haven't ever played chess before."
She pondered that for a minute. "It's ok mommy if it's too complicated for you. We can try again another time."
Humbled by a four-year-old.

*image courtesy of wikipedia

New Parent Test

I am off tomorrow morning to San Francisco for my sister's baby shower and a 48-hour trip without any kids. However, I did offer to take my four-year-old with me since her brother has a basketball game and baseball try-outs on Saturday. She declined (politely) my offer and opted to stay with her brother. Go figure...not that I am complaining. I get the chance to visit the place we lived for six years, spend time with family and friends, and eat meals at my leisure.

The whole baby shower thing has me reminiscing back to our first days with our first born. I think the most surprising...no shocking thing was the fact that the doctors and nurses just let you leave the hospital with your baby. No questions asked, no test of any kind. Wait, I think they did ask if we had a car seat. It's definitely not for lack of tests in our society. There is the driving test, the scuba diving test, the test to become a United States citizen. For crying out loud, my four-year-old even has to take a test to enter kindergarten. (As a side note, can you believe there is not one single question about the appropriateness of hitting, biting or punching anywhere to be found on that test?)

Maybe they assume that if you are smart enough to figure out how to assemble a crib, you are smart enough to figure out how to swaddle? That's a big assumption given the fact that almost everything these days comes with a warning label. I think the one on my folding chair reads, "make sure no one is sitting in chair when attempting to fold." Seriously, I remember going home, putting our son who had slept through his whole departure from the hospital, in his crib, and then sitting down with my husband and saying "wow." As in, "Wow, they just let us leave the hospital with our first baby. Now what?"

One possible idea that I have come up with would actually also help with job creation: a new-parent hotline. A number that new parents can call and hear words of wisdom such as, "No ma'am, there is no such thing as a baby that sleeps too much." "No ma'am, I have never heard of a baby dying from crying too much." "Yes, ma'am. It is perfectly safe to take your newborn outside. How did you get home from the hospital?" That's it! I am going to send President Obama and email with just this suggestion. Helping new parents and the economy at the same time. Brilliant!

Childhood Nostalgia

You know how certain things can instantly trigger a childhood memory? Maybe it's a certain food or an activity. For me, it was a movie. I was searching for something to watch on tv this past weekend, when a certain movie title jumped out at me: Race to Witch Mountain. My mind immediately flashed back to the Disney Classics "Escape to Witch Mountain" and "Return to Witch Mountain."

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Do you remember the Disney Sunday Night Movies we used to watch growing up? I can still remember sitting down on Sunday nights in front of the television with my family and a bowl of popcorn. Needless to say, the Witch Mountain movies were some of my favorites. Now, I know this movie is a remake and it stars Dwayne Johnson (formerly "The Rock", but who has made a nice career move switching to family movies), but I just had to check it out.


I am only slightly embarrassed to admit this, but after only 15 minutes or so, I was hooked! Sitting on my couch under my blanket brought me back to my childhood. And, I have to say, it wasn't bad at all! It definitely satisfied my childhood nostalgia craving. In fact, considering how difficult it can be to find suitable movies for young kids, this one definitely goes on the list.

Of course, all of this got the A+ in me thinking about what memories my children will take away from their childhood. I admit that sometimes I get carried away with trying to make "perfect" memories and experiences for my children. That somehow, if they have all these perfect, joyful and only pleasant memories, they will want to stay closer to home or come home more often to visit. But the truth is, I had a wonderful childhood, but left home to attend college in Chicago and except for a brief one-year stint in my hometown, have not lived in my hometown for the past 20 years. So, whenever I start on a crazy quest to make an over-the-top experience for my kids and stress myself out to do so, I have to try really hard to remember that it is the love our kids have for their family and the smiles and laughter from their childhood that will bring them home. Besides, my children are still young enough that they keep telling me they are going to live with me FOREVER!!

Not a New Year Yet

I have a confession to make. The new year is stressing me out! I feel like before I can even start enjoying all the festivities of a new year, I need to finish taking care of all the chaos and debris left over from the holidays. Seriously, it's January 6th and I have just today finished packing Christmas 2009 away. After taking down our tree and packing up all the ornaments and other decorations, I had to ask, "Where did all this stuff come from?" And I mean literally because there didn't seem to be any open space in the garage.

Then, it was time to play a game that all mom's adore called, "Find a Home." Again, it's literal because it means trying to find a home for all the new games, toys and clothes that joined the family during the holidays. After all this is done, I was totally exhausted and the sight of the everyday mess (dishes, laundry, etc) that has gone ignored while I finish with Christmas drove me to tears. This time, not literally, but almost. Now, I know all this stress is self-induced and there really isn't an ancient Mayan God of New Years who declares that everyone needs to start the new year fresh, organized, and totally put together in order to better prepare oneself for the new feats of fantastical strength and endurance of the new year. Or is there?

Songs of the Season

My kids love Christmas carols! They love to sing along with Christmas CDs or A Capella style while in the car, eating lunch, or in the bath. Thus, I've had to try and learn the words to many different Christmas carols. Imagine my shock in discovering the actual lyrics hardly make any mention of the words "toys", "shopping" or the popular variation "day after Christmas shopping." The words to "Do You Hear What I Hear?" mention, "The child, the child sleeping in the night, he will bring us goodness and light." All right, that's good and all, but will he also bring us a Kindle or a Samsung 55-inch HDTV? The words to "Silent Night" mention, "Sleep in heavenly peace." Ah, sleep sounds really good right now, but that's after putting together the Schwinn Roadster 12-inch Trike.

You get the idea. It seems like every year, it gets harder and harder to cut through the commercial meaning of Christmas and teach our kids a truer meaning of Christmas. It doesn't necessarily have to be a strict religious meaning. It can be as simple as echoing the messages found in the music of the holidays. "Pray for peace people everywhere." And helping our children understand how fortunate they are and the value of helping others. "And with true love and brotherhood each other now embrace."

Here is wishing you joy, laughter, and treasured time with loved ones. Thank you for all your kind words of support with this blog! Happy Holidays!!

And Now a Commercial Break...

I digress with this post. Today's post has nothing to do with the holidays or Santa's impending arrival or things merry and bright. Well, it is a little merry. It's no secret that our family loves sports. And, for the past few years, we've done a football pick'em league where each week, players pick 15 college games and the 15 pro games versus the spread. This year, we let our kids join the league (their idea, I swear!).

This past week was week 15 out of a total of 17. With everything that is going on, I hadn't had a chance to check the results from this past week and the overall league standings...until this evening. (Hint, hint...this is where the merry part of the post comes in.) Guess who was the week 15 winner by far? I'll give you a hint. It's the same person who is tied for 2nd place overall. Yep, it's my four-year-old daughter! And our son is only three points behind her! (In the interest of full disclosure, my son bets versus the spread each week, while my daughter picks the winner straight up.) Either way, suffice it to say, my husband and I trail them both. If nothing else, this makes me laugh hysterically at the thought of there actually being a secret formula to striking it rich at the sports book. If a four and six-year-old who always pick their favorite teams (the Vikings and the Colts), no matter who the opponent, can between them win six out of the 15 weeks so far, what hope is there for the betting savants out there? I'm currently using that as my excuse...

Pure Holiday Joy!

I know I have mentioned this before, but Christmas really is my favorite holiday! And one of the main reasons is because with kids, I get to experience the joy of the holidays through their eyes. I am constantly reminded how unaffected by things kids are and how the simple things make them happy. This weekend was a good example. On Saturday evening, we took the kids on a train ride to The North Pole to pick up Santa for the return ride. The kids were to dress in their pjs and enjoy cookies, milk and caroling en route to the North Pole. Who would have imagined when we booked the ride that it would also be the night of a terrible rain storm...in Southern California of all places?

So what if the carnival rides, bounce house, and craft booths were all closed? The kids found another way to entertain themselves under the tents: Ring Around the Rosie!


So what if we were all soaked by the time we boarded the train? The kids were surrounded by their friends, enjoying cookies and milk, and listening to off-tune Christmas caroling (is there any other kind of caroling?) And the best part was that Santa actually boarded the train and handed out candy canes.


So what if it was well after 9:00 by the time we said our good-byes to our friends and climbed into our car? When we asked the kids if they had fun, they both gave the evening an enthusiastic "two-thumbs up!!" Now who knows if it was the actual train ride or being out in the dark dressed in their pjs or laughing hysterically with their friends. The "why" really isn't important. There were many moments of pure joy that night and that's all that matters to me!

It Was the Post Office's Fault!

I prepared for my morning at the post office today in typical A+ fashion. I had already compiled my list of out-of-town gifts that needed to be sent, the contents of the boxes, and current addresses. Last night, I stayed up until midnight packing and addressing various envelopes and boxes. Everything was even loaded into my car last night so I would be all ready to go in the morning. This morning, anticipating the dreadfully slow lines, I arrived at the post office with cup-of-coffee in hand along with my planner so I could be productive while queuing in line. An Eagle Scout could not have been more prepared. Except for one thing: there was no dreadfully long line at the post office. In fact, there was no line at all! Impossible, right? This particular post office had FOUR stations open and what's more, everyone was SMILING!

I must admit, I returned to the car in a semi-dazed state. Not a sip of coffee consumed and my planner still in my purse. I had so much extra time that I decided to look for the last few gifts on my Christmas list. Getting unexpected items checked off my list? A perfectionist's dream, right? Well, not exactly. Because I had so much time, I spent a little too long in the store. You know where this is heading don't you? Please tell me that I am not the only one who wanders into a store to buy presents for others, but winds up getting something for myself as well! Besides the gifts on my list, I ended up with a scarf and a necklace for myself. Definitely poor form. Does it help that they were both on double, quadruple markdown? When the salesperson asked if I wanted a gift receipt, I said "yes" - to all the items...including my own. The shame of it all! If only the post office hadn't been so darn efficient!

Glory Days

Yesterday I had breakfast with a dear friend of mine from MBA school. We live less than 10 miles apart and yet don't see each other nearly enough. Whenever we get together, we inevitably end up having a good laugh about the "old" us versus the "new" us. When we were in Business School, we were ready to conquer the world. Career women! In comparison, during our breakfast, my girlfriend told me the hilarious story of being completely mortified while encountering her old boss and co-workers (at the mall of all places) in their full "business suit with briefcase in-hand" attire. While she on the other hand was out in her sweats, no make-up, and recently recovered from illness. Dreamy, right? The only thing better is having an ex-girlfriend of your husband walk into the store at the same time!

I know that it is not just the A+ moms out there, but every mom that had an identity of her own before having kids, that can relate to the story. It's like the movie where the character is constantly reliving his glory days and saying to others, "I used to BE somebody!" And that is exactly how I feel some days. After hearing "Stop it!" "He hit me" or "That's mine!" for the twentieth time, I want to yell, "I used to manage a team of people who could all do multiplication and eat with utensils!" Admit it, you have too. My girlfriend and I even speculated what a current performance review would look like: Laundry done in a timely manner? Check. Whites and bright colors sorted correctly? Check. Nice crisp folds in t-shirts and sweaters? Needs improvement. Good thing I'm not in this mothering-thing for the validation! The fact that the good days outnumber the bad ones is rewarding enough for me.

Lesson Learned by Wrapping Presents

Tonight, I had another occasion to pat myself on the back. No, not because of a perfectionist moment. It was actually the opposite: a "letting the perfection go" moment (very similar to the decorating of the Christmas tree). Today's advent activity was "Help wrap presents." So, I brought out some wrapping paper and tape and let the kids wrap presents - all by themselves. The funniest moment had to be when my son picked up the present to show me he was done and the present actually fell out of one end! Because of that happening, both kids had the opportunity to learn how to fold the ends up and tape them so the present doesn't fall out. I know many of you already let your kids do this, but for me, sometimes it really is baby steps. This gift wrapped by my son is being sent to family.


This one wrapped by my daughter is our first present for under the tree (it's for Daddy!)

My Apologies!

After a few conversations, emails, and phone calls today, I feel like I owe my friends an apology for the early arrival of my holiday cards! One of my friends even called me today lamenting the fact that her attempts at a family picture this past weekend were a disaster. Sorry! My perfectionism rears it's head again!! I don't dare tell anyone that our Christmas lights are already up. Oopps!! Seriously though, I love the holidays and it's just my way of kicking things off...early...really early. After all, the kids are already asking how many more days until Christmas. Let the countdown officially begin!

What Happened Along the Way

Today was one of those days where someone would need a map to follow my discombobulated path of cleaning the house. My single-minded, focused goal when I woke up this morning was to clean the house for our weekend visitors. My path to cleanliness started in the bathrooms. While I was waiting for the tub cleaner to work it's magic, I thought I would put a load of laundry in the washer. The problem was that on the way to the washer, I walked through the living room filled with clean laundry in need of folding. Stopped to fold some laundry. Darn! I was going to put some laundry in the washer. I should really do that before I finish folding. On the way to the washer, I walked through the kitchen where breakfast dishes were still sitting on the counter. Stopped to do some dishes. Darn! The laundry! I really need to put the laundry in the washer before finishing the dishes. Finally make it to the garage and the washer. As the washer is filing with water (clothes already in), a cricket decides to jump into the washing machine. It takes me almost 30 minutes to empty the washer of wet clothes and scoop the cricket out and then reload the washer. At this point, I am vaguely remembering something about a bathtub.