New Parent Test

I am off tomorrow morning to San Francisco for my sister's baby shower and a 48-hour trip without any kids. However, I did offer to take my four-year-old with me since her brother has a basketball game and baseball try-outs on Saturday. She declined (politely) my offer and opted to stay with her brother. Go figure...not that I am complaining. I get the chance to visit the place we lived for six years, spend time with family and friends, and eat meals at my leisure.

The whole baby shower thing has me reminiscing back to our first days with our first born. I think the most surprising...no shocking thing was the fact that the doctors and nurses just let you leave the hospital with your baby. No questions asked, no test of any kind. Wait, I think they did ask if we had a car seat. It's definitely not for lack of tests in our society. There is the driving test, the scuba diving test, the test to become a United States citizen. For crying out loud, my four-year-old even has to take a test to enter kindergarten. (As a side note, can you believe there is not one single question about the appropriateness of hitting, biting or punching anywhere to be found on that test?)

Maybe they assume that if you are smart enough to figure out how to assemble a crib, you are smart enough to figure out how to swaddle? That's a big assumption given the fact that almost everything these days comes with a warning label. I think the one on my folding chair reads, "make sure no one is sitting in chair when attempting to fold." Seriously, I remember going home, putting our son who had slept through his whole departure from the hospital, in his crib, and then sitting down with my husband and saying "wow." As in, "Wow, they just let us leave the hospital with our first baby. Now what?"

One possible idea that I have come up with would actually also help with job creation: a new-parent hotline. A number that new parents can call and hear words of wisdom such as, "No ma'am, there is no such thing as a baby that sleeps too much." "No ma'am, I have never heard of a baby dying from crying too much." "Yes, ma'am. It is perfectly safe to take your newborn outside. How did you get home from the hospital?" That's it! I am going to send President Obama and email with just this suggestion. Helping new parents and the economy at the same time. Brilliant!