More Than Just "Moms"

One of my son's nicknames is "Question Boy" as in he who asks many questions across many various subjects or many questions about a single subject. One of his question sessions the other day ended with him asking, "Well, do we know any meteorologists we can ask?" This got me thinking about the many roles we assume as moms.

Being a mom today involves roles I used to think people had to go to school for many years or undergo endless hours of on-the-job training to do. Or maybe to do well. For instance, I am fairly certain my good friend the pediatrician probably had to do a little more than birth a baby to earn her degree. Yet I find myself diagnosing, performing triage, and doing my best Florence Nightingale imitation on an almost daily basis. And, like a true medical professional, during the course of illness or an overdose of Doritos, I have thrown my body in the path of erupting vomit.

Another role that I have assumed without the prerequisite schooling or even nomination process is that of judge. I have developed strong viewpoints on fairness and equality (such as buying two of everything) and learned to form many opinions on the fly. Moreover, each decision I hand down is subjected to much scrutiny (and whining) and almost none are accepted without appeal (louder whining). And, without the benefit of a loud gavel, I settle for the ability to speak in a voice that implies total authority.

While the aforementioned roles require mainly mental dexterity, this next one is much more physical: acrobatic driver. Those without children may be unfamiliar with this role which requires the ability to keep both eyes alert and on the road while contorting one arm to hand various items to the backseat or retrieve fallen items from the floor.

The role of chef is one that I actually enjoy. Usually chefs who prepare food for the most discerning palettes hone their skill at schools such as the Culinary Institute of America. I myself, who also prepare food on a daily basis for two very persnickety eaters, must instead rely on guides such as the Food Network and Cooking Light. Not to be deterred, I still try to attempt one new recipe per week and if it gets the golden seal of approval (meaning my kids ask for seconds), the recipe goes into the regular rotation.

But, perhaps the most difficult role of all is the role of "mother." This daunting role requires making sure that love, discipline and guidance are given in all the correct quantities to ensure that your children turn out to be wonderful human beings. Too bad there isn't a class for that.