As I sit here jotting down my questions for tomorrow's parent-teacher conferences, I can't help but give myself a pat on my back and remark how far I've come when it comes to my children. When my oldest was born it was first child meets Type-A Mom. And, after I stopped working, all my perfectionist energy was focused on my son. I was acutely conscious of all major milestones and the corresponding time lines. I remember one instance where my pediatrician finally told me, "This is just a gray area. It's not black and white." What?! You can imagine how this rocked my world.
Fast forward to my daughter as an infant. Things considered sacred with my son such as consistent naptimes and bedtimes, were sacrificed out of necessity and my own sanity. But along with the relaxing of my perfectionist standards came a certain amount of guilt. Was I doing everything for my daughter that I did for my son? Or on the flip side, was I spending enough time with my son with the arrival of his baby sister? You can imagine what a downward spiral that can become.
Today, I try to focus on what wonderful kids they are and how much I enjoy them each and every day. I try to remind myself that a world of grays is richer than one with only absolutes. That's not to say that there are not moments when I beat myself up for not reading to them enough or not taking them to enough museums or not taking more walks with them. But that is every mom right? And always wanting more and better for our kids is what makes us moms "perfect."
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